Looser

Iam quite busy loosing everything ... even my image in the mirror taunts me,Hiding my tears makes my life like an island ... yes iam surrounded by tears in no man island. I might get rescued but iam afraid if thats a trap for a bigger test ..I am a hard hitter of failure which iam always used to be  but god doesnt realize that i need a break else i would break down fore ever .... They say god gives difficulties only to those who can handle it but if thats gods thoughts please understand i cant take more .. give me some time, very few minutes of happiness n smile else take me to hell ....i dont want heaven i dont mind hell but not this earth ...please dont label me as a looser for life.