This is a travel (Imaginary before birth till death) considering me and my mom...
BELOVED AMMA..........
I was just like a bullet shot by "god" into the deep blue sky, flying day and night. I was completely blind without knowing my destination. Weeping round the clock for "Love".
"No care”, “No food" and "No shelter" just wondering like an orphan. On seeing the earth, fear encircled my path badly. I know the earth is a place dominated with some dangerous creatures like human being who use their vital weapons like tongue & mind to hurt hearts.
Those days were too hot and nights were too cold for me to survive, I didn’t know what my shape, size, colour, texture and relations were gonna be. I was really worried how my fate would be in future.
I felt a warm breeze that made me change from what I was experiencing, YES!! I saw a wonderful couple looking each other deep into their eye with great passion and love. They had a lot of dreams about their future, where I saw my future in it
Then I realized they were the apt couple to take care of me. In a sparkling moment I fell in love with them just like a teenager, I knew that I was chosen brick to fill the gap in their future palace. I didn’t take any options, decided to be their son. Then I begged the almighty to show his mercy & I was blessed as I wished.
As I was pleased by his blessings I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up I found myself on the earth, but I couldn`t realize that place, "was it a heaven in this hell?" Then I realised, that was my place, created for me alone,
Yes!! "My mother’s womb”. I didn`t know that the pain that I had was hunger, I was fed for the first time by my mom. Later on I was given a shape that made me feel the
"KING OF THAT HEAVEN".
No words could explain my thoughts and feelings about my heaven. It was just like a magic room, usually gifted people get what they desire, but I was more lucky to enjoy all before I desire.
I didn`t feel the scotchy sun and pricking chillness she was experiencing .Felt that I was safe for the first time in my life. I also didn`t know that my heaven was the only place where I could be safe. Days and night she was awake to look after me, I was ruling my heaven happly,riding my chariot around my water world, looking at the people on earth shedding blood as sweat to get that sofestications,food,shelter and peace of mind that I was experiencing by my mother.
Being a heavy headed king of heaven, I decided to see my creator, it was not that god who let me like an orphan, but it was my beautiful parents. I decided to see my mom`s face before I step into this earth, just like a vecation.I let my head and peeped where I saw her screaming with pain. On seeing me she smiled ,her eyes were filled with happyness.I didn`t know that she did not want me to be afraid on seeing her cry, she swallowed her pains and gave me that pleasure of seeing her with a smiling face.
I saw my dad standing beside her, majestically like a complete man. I was filled with joy. I thought of taking both of them back to my heaven, but things were different. The climate was hurting me, people around me started handling me like a puppet, keeping nicknames and showing silly gestures which made me laugh at those crazy humans.
Then I realized that was the earth, I was not a king anymore. No heaven, no security except one hope that was my parents. Fear engulfed me again as before.
"Mom how am I gona survive in this cruel world? How can my dreams come true?"I was surrounded with plenty of questions which made me panic, I know I can’t create a heaven for me anymore.
"Mom to be frank, if I had known that I never go back to my heaven then I would have never come out"
She threw me up in the air but I was happy and not afraid because I knew she would hold me safely because for me the true meaning of care, affection, trust and safety was my mom. I didn`t know that the blood which runs in me was hers, hope she knew that I would be afraid on seeing blood red so she turned it into her hearts color and fed me.
I am afraid of teenage as it is the number one worst part in our life, at this age people find more value for flesh than affection. I was afraid that one day she might be worried on seeing another women showing her affection on me, I knew that was not jelousy.Its the blind affection that she has on me, Young women around me were mindblowing,but she was not weighed on that balance. She`s the most perfect women who is beautiful both internally and externally. There is no instrument to value you mom.
At present she has extended her support, care affection, tears and guidance as a ladder for me to reach the peak. I know she has done her part perfect and would still extend her ladder for me to climb, but I won’t let it break as she has supported beyond her limits.mom now it’s time for you to breath for yourself and see our heaven built.
One day I may earn more money to keep our family happy by providing luxury,comfort,care and so onnnnnn.......all people would be truly happy but I knew my mom would still shed tears thinking my work and sweat behind that and I know she would feel than any others in this world.
I ruined her happiness at her young age; I gave her the pain of death during my birth. Made her week by drinking her blood as milk. Swept her beauty, increased her responsibilities. She enjoyed the pain I gave her when she fed me milk; she cried for my pain even not knowing the reason, though I stole her sleep she papered me with love and care.
She`s with me all the time, both time and her hair had turned grey but how come she`s still the same? The affection she has in me is still younger than my strength and confidence. Her hands might be shaky but not that love she has on me.
Still she`s fighting hard to bring back my heaven, She knows that it`s not possible but the affection she has on me makes her blind to make her do this.
A day may come when the soul that fed me would be fed by the soil. I am not a kid to realize her part in my life. She sculpted me since I was in her womb till now, All I pray god is to take me ahead of her, So that I might take another birth and get her as my child and that could be the only way to repay her sacrifices she did for me. Mother’s sacrifices can’t be repaid in this single birth. I would show the heaven that she had shown to me and Ile make sure that she stays in that heaven forever.
I know my absence would give her the deadliest pain she have ever experienced but....I know she would take that pain open hearted, If she comes to know that her absence would truly make me dead. Sacrifice is motherly quality, so my dear mom give me a chance to keep you happy. I would have wounded you many times in words, make you cry, feel bad about me. I did all this because I know that you’re the only soul to whom I could show this and still you would be with me...Forgive me if I had hurted you mom, with love your son Karthikesh........
